You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just high enough for therapy.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
