I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
