i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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