my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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