Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
