I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
