Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
