Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
