That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
