This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
