I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
