Your dad touched me again.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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