Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
