it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
