we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
