we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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