none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize