R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
