I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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