i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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