I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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