If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
