The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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