Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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