i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
