it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
