so explain again why im purple
no
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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