At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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