Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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