Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
