I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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