Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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