Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Bring me that man meat
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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