bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
