She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
