She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
