Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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