You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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