I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Farmville is her only friend.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
