Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
