if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
