I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
