I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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