I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
