we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
