i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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