Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
