So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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