im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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