If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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