ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
