I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
