Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
