She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
