I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
