I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
