Porn is love you can see.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
i now understand why vodka
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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