My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize